Friday, October 4, 2013
Nothing much today. Daniel is still quiet – he’s in another one of his moods again. I wish I could understand them. I caught him looking at me quite bit in history, but I didn't see him after school and he didn't call again tonight. This morning he saw Susan and went and put his arm around her and was talking to her – just to make me jealous. Then Mrs. Maede came up to him and said, “How would you like it if I walked down the hall with my arm around you?” He got real embarrassed. It was so funny, I almost split a gut. I don’t know what I’d do if it weren't for my girlfriends. The best ones are Mary Ann, Irma and Sharee, in that order. And I've got lots of pretty good friends, too. Very nice. I guess (I mean, I know) I want Daniel back, but somehow I just can’t get up enough enthusiasm to work on it. I think I’ll make a resolution, though, to start tomorrow and tease the life out of him and get him back. In fact, I hereby make it!!!
Didn't do much today – sorta nice day, though. Daniel was awful quiet – he’s still tired! But not me! He didn't call tonight – and I think we’re going down again. I’m sure he doesn't really like me. But he wore my sweater today, and last night too! Oh – he’s such a doll – especially in it!
Boy, today did I ever get a scare. Daniel didn't call all day, so finally I got the car and drove around. I found his car at the show. Oh, I was so mad. He sure doesn't care much about me. So I went and got Loretta. She was in a sad mood, too, because Keith really was in town last night. When I took her home, we left a note in Daniel’s car. It said: ‘You cute neglectful slob! Call me after 5:30 if you've still got a dime.” Well, he called once, but hung up before I got to the phone. So finally, I called him and asked him to our P.F. party. He gave a whole bunch of weak excuses why he didn't want to go, so I hung up. Boy, that really seemed like the end. I cried so hard, and everything just burned inside me and there was static in my ears. So now I've got a sample of how I’ll feel when he really does leave me. Well, a little while later he called back and said he’d decided he would go. (Boy, I've sure got the knack for pressuring ‘em!) Oh, I was so happy then I forgot everything. And then I nearly died of nervousness before they (Julain and Nick) picked me up. I’m so crazy in love with that guy I can’t see straight. The party was quite fun. We played games – in rhythm everybody would kid us because we always missed at the same time and got to sit together. Then we danced a little and ate. Afterwards we drove around (we were in the back seat) and he kissed me quite a bit, but he didn't really throw himself into it. But then, he really is tired. But at the door, he really kissed me – twice! Oh man, I’m gone!!!!
Tonight was the Tuck Formal. Oh, it was about the most wonderful time I've ever had in my life!! I had the most beautiful flowers – a colonial, and we took loads of pictures. Daddy had to push us at first, because Daniel’s car wouldn't start. Nice. We went to Colleen and Sharee’s cake parties. The Grand March was so scary, and Daddy took pictures of us and embarrassed us to death. Then the dance – oh, it was the most wonderful! We had dance programs. The first part was kind of icky – I danced with some freaks. But then I started dancing with Jim Baker, Mud, Dan, and Duffy, and of course Daniel in between all those. It was so much fun! Then afterwards we went out to the Flamingo and had steak dinners. Daniel was smoking and he looked so sophisticated. We danced some more out there. Then we finally left. Jim just kept us in stitches – he’s so funny (and he forgot to pay his bill). Those two started making out – and this was their first date. And Jim doesn't even like her – I wish Sharee would learn a lesson.
Well then we went out and parked. Oh, I loved Daniel so much, and I could have just screamed, and I wanted to tell him so much. But he didn't tell me, so I couldn't. He was so quiet all night, and I just wonder whether or not he had a good time. He sure kissed me nice, though, but then he can do that easily enough. I sure hope he did because I love him so much.
I think Daniel kind of liked me today. I wore a real cute outfit and was in a real good mood. After the game tonight we went to the dance. I know he didn't want to take me, but I almost made him. And oh – we had so much fun! I never even dreamed it was possible with him anymore. Sometimes he held me tight when we were dancing, with both arms around me (right in public, too!) Oh, I nearly died! And we held hands nearly all the time. But it was afterwards that was most unbelievable! He put his arms around me in the car (I was sitting by him – and he didn't have to tell me this time!) then we drove out south of town and parked. First we sat there and necked awhile. I didn't say anything at first, but then when he started other stuff, I thought I’d better quickly. We didn't actually get much accomplished – we mostly just talked about that he wanted to so bad and why wouldn't I! He told me he loved me again. I love to hear it. He hardly ever says it, so I know it’s precious to him when he does. But I don’t really believe him – I think it’s mostly just part of the sales talk. But what a sales talk! When he whispers all that in my ear, “Please, Julie” and “I love you” and “Darling” I get so dizzy and excited and nauseated. I almost can’t stand it. When we came home, we stood out in front of my door, facing each other, and he had his arms around me – it was so romantical! He kept saying that someday I’d give in – but he didn't think it would be to him, because he doesn't have the technique. My lord – if he doesn't have it, I’d sure hate to meet up with someone who does! I told him if it was ever anybody, it would be him. He doesn't think so. He told me to put my nun doll where I can see it every day – and have it for my model, so I never forget. That was so funny.
This afternoon, Irma, Mary Ann, Sharee, and I gave a worship service at the church. We had a ball, and can’t wait ‘til we can join Women’s Fellowship! Tonight Daniel and I worked on our cloud chamber at school. Afterwards, we drove around and then parked out in front of our house. All he talked about was what would happen after we break up. He still wants to be friends and work on our cloud chamber and have our June 7th date. He said he thought we should go steady until the 7th at least, so I guess it’s really true about what he said. I just hated myself tonight – I couldn't think of anything to say and was just a clod. Finally, he started smelling my perfume and then he started kissing my neck and the side of my face. Oh, it was so nice – and just then the folks came home and wrecked it all. He seemed pretty set on breaking up, and now I’m beginning to like him better. Right now I’m wondering if it’s worth putting up a fight for, or if I should just leave it alone. Sure wish I knew.