Watertown: February 10, 1959

Nothing much today. Daniel is still quiet – he’s in another one of his moods again. I wish I could understand them. I caught him looking at me quite bit in history, but I didn't see him after school and he didn't call again tonight. This morning he saw Susan and went and put his arm around her and was talking to her – just to make me jealous. Then Mrs. Maede came up to him and said, “How would you like it if I walked down the hall with my arm around you?” He got real embarrassed. It was so funny, I almost split a gut. I don’t know what I’d do if it weren't for my girlfriends. The best ones are Mary Ann, Irma and Sharee, in that order. And I've got lots of pretty good friends, too. Very nice. I guess (I mean, I know) I want Daniel back, but somehow I just can’t get up enough enthusiasm to work on it. I think I’ll make a resolution, though, to start tomorrow and tease the life out of him and get him back. In fact, I hereby make it!!!

Watertown: February 8, 1959

Boy, today did I ever get a scare. Daniel didn't call all day, so finally I got the car and drove around. I found his car at the show. Oh, I was so mad. He sure doesn't care much about me. So I went and got Loretta. She was in a sad mood, too, because Keith really was in town last night. When I took her home, we left a note in Daniel’s car. It said: ‘You cute neglectful slob! Call me after 5:30 if you've still got a dime.” Well, he called once, but hung up before I got to the phone. So finally, I called him and asked him to our P.F. party. He gave a whole bunch of weak excuses why he didn't want to go, so I hung up. Boy, that really seemed like the end. I cried so hard, and everything just burned inside me and there was static in my ears. So now I've got a sample of how I’ll feel when he really does leave me. Well, a little while later he called back and said he’d decided he would go. (Boy, I've sure got the knack for pressuring ‘em!) Oh, I was so happy then I forgot everything. And then I nearly died of nervousness before they (Julain and Nick) picked me up. I’m so crazy in love with that guy I can’t see straight. The party was quite fun. We played games – in rhythm everybody would kid us because we always missed at the same time and got to sit together. Then we danced a little and ate. Afterwards we drove around (we were in the back seat) and he kissed me quite a bit, but he didn't really throw himself into it. But then, he really is tired. But at the door, he really kissed me – twice! Oh man, I’m gone!!!!

Watertown: February 7, 1959

Tonight was the Tuck Formal. Oh, it was about the most wonderful time I've ever had in my life!! I had the most beautiful flowers – a colonial, and we took loads of pictures. Daddy had to push us at first, because Daniel’s car wouldn't start. Nice. We went to Colleen and Sharee’s cake parties. The Grand March was so scary, and Daddy took pictures of us and embarrassed us to death. Then the dance – oh, it was the most wonderful! We had dance programs. The first part was kind of icky – I danced with some freaks. But then I started dancing with Jim Baker, Mud, Dan, and Duffy, and of course Daniel in between all those. It was so much fun! Then afterwards we went out to the Flamingo and had steak dinners. Daniel was smoking and he looked so sophisticated. We danced some more out there. Then we finally left. Jim just kept us in stitches – he’s so funny (and he forgot to pay his bill). Those two started making out – and this was their first date. And Jim doesn't even like her – I wish Sharee would learn a lesson.

Well then we went out and parked. Oh, I loved Daniel so much, and I could have just screamed, and I wanted to tell him so much. But he didn't tell me, so I couldn't. He was so quiet all night, and I just wonder whether or not he had a good time. He sure kissed me nice, though, but then he can do that easily enough. I sure hope he did because I love him so much.

Watertown: February 6, 1959

I think Daniel kind of liked me today. I wore a real cute outfit and was in a real good mood. After the game tonight we went to the dance. I know he didn't want to take me, but I almost made him. And oh – we had so much fun! I never even dreamed it was possible with him anymore. Sometimes he held me tight when we were dancing, with both arms around me (right in public, too!) Oh, I nearly died! And we held hands nearly all the time. But it was afterwards that was most unbelievable! He put his arms around me in the car (I was sitting by him – and he didn't have to tell me this time!) then we drove out south of town and parked. First we sat there and necked awhile. I didn't say anything at first, but then when he started other stuff, I thought I’d better quickly. We didn't actually get much accomplished – we mostly just talked about that he wanted to so bad and why wouldn't I! He told me he loved me again. I love to hear it. He hardly ever says it, so I know it’s precious to him when he does. But I don’t really believe him – I think it’s mostly just part of the sales talk. But what a sales talk! When he whispers all that in my ear, “Please, Julie” and “I love you” and “Darling” I get so dizzy and excited and nauseated. I almost can’t stand it. When we came home, we stood out in front of my door, facing each other, and he had his arms around me – it was so romantical! He kept saying that someday I’d give in – but he didn't think it would be to him, because he doesn't have the technique. My lord – if he doesn't have it, I’d sure hate to meet up with someone who does! I told him if it was ever anybody, it would be him. He doesn't think so. He told me to put my nun doll where I can see it every day – and have it for my model, so I never forget. That was so funny.

Watertown: February 5, 1959

Daniel was quite nice to me today, but he sure didn't go out of his way any. Tonight everybody went down and decorated. It’s absolutely beautiful! A Mardi Gras theme. But oh – are we ever tired – and excited!

Watertown: February 4, 1959

This afternoon, Irma, Mary Ann, Sharee, and I gave a worship service at the church. We had a ball, and can’t wait ‘til we can join Women’s Fellowship! Tonight Daniel and I worked on our cloud chamber at school. Afterwards, we drove around and then parked out in front of our house. All he talked about was what would happen after we break up. He still wants to be friends and work on our cloud chamber and have our June 7^th date. He said he thought we should go steady until the 7^th at least, so I guess it’s really true about what he said. I just hated myself tonight – I couldn't think of anything to say and was just a clod. Finally, he started smelling my perfume and then he started kissing my neck and the side of my face. Oh, it was so nice – and just then the folks came home and wrecked it all. He seemed pretty set on breaking up, and now I’m beginning to like him better. Right now I’m wondering if it’s worth putting up a fight for, or if I should just leave it alone. Sure wish I knew.

Watertown: February 3, 1959

Today wasn't much better than yesterday from the standpoint of Daniel and I. He did pay more attention to me. He kept insisting that he expected me to call him and told me to call him tonight. But I said No, I wouldn't and I didn't, either. But we went to Grandma’s for dinner and didn't get home ‘til nearly ten, so he might’ve called, although I doubt it. I don’t really like him, when I think about it, but I don’t think I want to lose him, either. Sure wish I knew what he wanted.

I got the highest grade in the lit test, and Mr. Florey asked me to join Math Club. We’re working on Advanced Algebra, and it’s hard!! Made ‘rotten egg’ gas in chemistry – that was lots of fun. School is getting a little better – and much easier!

Watertown: February 2, 1959

Went to school today – everybody asked me if I had a good time and all that at Sioux Falls. The kids are really nice and thoughtful. Pete told me that Daniel kept calling my house yesterday and he really missed me. And he was really serious, too. Daniel was kind of nice to me today, although he certainly didn't go out of his way – and neither did I. He talked to me in the halls after school, and sorta leaned on me and was real friendly. But he doesn't act like himself at all – he’s so quiet. Loretta told me tonight that she heard from a few people that Pete said Daniel said he was thinking of breaking up after the Tuck Formal. It’s all over the school. I guess he’s been thinking of it since Christmas. I know why he could, when we had all those fights and stuff. But after he told me he loved me and all, I don’t see how he could – unless he’s just giving me a line, which I wouldn't doubt at all. But the funny part is, I’m not sad at all. I guess I just don’t care very much.

Watertown: February 1, 1959

This morning we went to church and then had dinner at Carol’s with all the girls. Then we went riding around all afternoon. Finally, they took us to the bus and we left at 4:15. We really hated to go – we had so much fun. On the way home, Susan and I talked about everything. I've told her more than I've ever told anybody about Daniel and I. When we got back, Daniel picked us up. We took Sue home and then rode around a while. He was in quite a bad mood and wouldn't even touch me for the longest time. Marge wouldn't go out with him Saturday night because she was afraid I’d be mad at her. Nice of her. So he went stag. Well, after a while, he started warming up a little, and said he missed me and everybody at the dance asked where I was. Then we started necking a little – oh, I really liked him them. But then he started insisting on having his cold hands where they didn't belong, and I started getting mad. Then he said a bunch of stuff like that he sure got sick of just necking and said, “Oh, this is sickening,” and quit. I asked him how much it took to satisfy him, and he said, “Not very much.” Obviously our standards differ completely. Then he got all my stuff together and walked me to the door. Then he said, “You always have to keep your honor up, don’t you?” I didn't say anything for a minute, and then said, “Yeah.” He walked away. If I have to lower my standards in order to satisfy and keep him, I won’t do it because I don’t like him that well, and it isn't worth it. I’m really mad at him now. He’s being completely unfair and I’m not going to give up one inch. I can’t. And if he doesn't like it, too bad. He can find someone else, because I don’t care that much. True love – ha.

Watertown: January 31, 1959

Today we just had a ball! We slept ‘til noon, and then went downtown. Oh, they have the nicest stores here! We ran around the revolving doors and up and down the escalators like a bunch of country hicks. Susan said, “This is better than any playground,” and we nearly died laughing. I found some darling shoes, but when I went to get them, they were gone. I was so mad. We rode around and saw the whole town, too. Then we went to the show. We sat in the top row of the balcony, because Sue and I had never seen a show balcony before. So there we sat among the neckers. The show was real sad, and Carol and I were quietly crying, when Susan started sobbing real loud. It was so funny, we started laughing and crying at the same time. Everybody looked at us and we felt like fools. It was just a ball. Then we came home and had a whole bunch of pizza. I just love it. Then we went to bed – but talked for hours. In fact, it’s almost four now, and we’re still not done.

Watertown: January 30, 1959

Today, Susan and I came down to Sioux Falls, and Daniel never did say goodbye to me. We had loads of fun on the bus – we ate so much we were nearly sick. When we got here, we met Carol and her friends, Donna, Kay, and Judith. I just love them. We went to the game, which was so close, but we finally lost 60 – 54. Oh, I’ve never cried or sworn so much in my life. It just smashed all our hopes. Then we went to the dance, but didn’t do anything there. Then we got a bunch of boys and had a pizza party. It was really quite fun – and the boys are sure neat! Especially Ronnie Parks, Chuck Happ, and Mike Dykstera (who I might have a date with – I hope.) After they left, we had a slumber party. We stayed up talking – and right now it’s after 5:30 AM and we haven’t gone to sleep yet. I’m not even tired. Those boys sure are neat, but I still like Daniel.

Watertown: January 28, 1959

This morning, Daniel asked me to the TAP Dance next Saturday, but I’ll be in Sioux Falls so I can’t go. This afternoon he told me he had asked Mary Tesek to it. I was kind of mad at first, but really, I didn’t care at all. As it turned out, he hasn’t really asked her yet. We were over at Roger’s Dairy with a bunch of boys, Mud, Steve, etc, and he demanded his ring back. I gave it to him, and then didn’t pay any attention to him and went with the other boys. Pretty soon he gave it back. Tonight we went to the school and worked on our cloud chamber. We had loads of fun in the shop, and all the teachers were so nice and complimentary to me today. Afterwards, Daniel and I went out and parked (natch). It was fun, but we didn’t neck much at all – just talked. We talked about loving each other, and he remembered better than I did when he had told me. He said he had meant it most of the times. He also remembered that I had never told him. I really don’t know if I do or not, but I think it’s just that I like him a lot.

Watertown: January 27, 1959

Today was real nice, too. Daniel was real nice and sweet. He wore the sweater I gave him. Nothing important happened. Pete Foley gave Sheila and I a ride home from school, and of course, Daniel knew about it right away. Everybody sure keeps him posted – I can’t do a thing. He was so sweet and attentive – and sort of quiet. Whenever we walk together, he always sort of puts his arm around my waist – sorta like he’s protecting me or something! Oh, it’s so romantical! It just sends me! I’m getting to like him better every day. He’s so much fun. I didn't do a thing tonight except listen to records. Susan came over, and I talked to Daniel. I just wish everything would stay like this for a long time.

Watertown: January 26, 1959

Today was nice – nothing spectacular, but just fun and nice. Daniel and I got along real well, and laughed all the time. A new girl, Phyllis Keating, moved here from Sioux Falls, and boy, the boys really rushed her – including Daniel. Every time she looked at him, he smiled so sweetly, and it just made me sick! It would have been funny, except for the fact that he’s my boyfriend! Oh well, he paid a lot of attention to me, too, and boy, I smothered him with it. This afternoon, Susan and I walked home, sat and talked and ate everything in sight. We’re getting all ready to go to Sioux Falls next weekend. Man, that’ll be a riot!!

Tonight, Daniel and I talked on the phone three times. He’s such a nut. I just love him. I really liked him a lot today – more than I have for over a week. Every time I looked at him or thought of him, my stomach just went wild. I felt sick most of the day. I haven’t done that for ages. Nice.

Watertown: January 25, 1959

Today was Youth Sunday and I was at church from 8:30 – 12 this morning and 6 – 9 tonight. But it was really good. I sang in a sextette this morning and tonight we had our Banquet to Youth. Everything was really good – the best Youth Sunday I think we've ever had. This afternoon Sharee picked me up and we rode around all afternoon. We picked up Buzz Roethler, a neat college guy she kind of goes with. Daniel was at the show – that kind of ticked me off, because I didn't think he had any money – and he’s supposed to save it anyway. I’m keeping our money for the Tuck Formal – because otherwise he’ll spend it. This afternoon, Russ Lunde gave me three cents and Buzz gave me two cents. That was supposed to go toward our Tuck collection. But so far we only have twenty dollars. We should do a lot that night. Daniel called me up today – he was at Pete’s. I didn't see him all day. I like him real well, but sometimes I wish we weren't going steady so I could go with other boys.

Watertown: January 24, 1959

Today Loretta and I went down and timed some debates for the speech tournament. Afterwards, Daniel picked me up and we drove around. Then he came up to my house and we horsed around for a while. Tonight we went to the turkey supper at our church, and he had the car afterwards. We went out and parked, but he started in right away, and I wasn't in any mood for that, so we came home. Nobody was home, but he had to leave right away anyway to get down to the pool hall. About twenty minutes later he came back with such a dumb excuse, that I just loved him. We sat on the couch and necked a while and watched TV, and he said, “Just think what it would be like if we were married.” Believe me, I was. Then Mom and Dad came home.  We sat and talked to Daddy ‘til 11:30. It was such a nice night – I wish we were married – just for the night. But at least he’s serious about us having a chance of getting married – but not me – I know we won’t, and can’t even imagine it. But it sure would be nice.

Watertown: January 23, 1959

Tonight we went to the dance – and had quite a bit of fun – although we really didn't know quite what to say to each other. Afterwards, he drove straight home, got out and opened the door for me, and walked me to the door. I didn't know what he was pulling off – so I didn't say anything. He tried to kiss me goodnight, but I wouldn't let him. Then he told me to call him the next day. I said “no” and started walking in the house. Then he started laughing and picked me up and carried me back to the car. It was all a big joke, but I wasn't too amused at the time. Well, then we went out and parked, as usual. And of course, he had to have his hands where they shouldn't be – and how. He’s getting just a little too familiar, I think. But still, it was terribly romantical. Especially when he whispered, “Julie – Julie, I love you” or “Oh, gosh.” He sounds so pained when he says that. Gad, it just gets me. Then we started telling jokes and got ourselves all out of the mood. A while later, we were talking about it, and he kept insisting I was hot. It’s so hard to believe and actually say it. We’re pretty much in love again – it sure came back fast. But I don’t love him half as much as I used to. I wish I did – this isn't as thrilling.

Watertown: January 22, 1959

Today Daniel kept asking me why I was mad, and he finally guessed that he must’ve missed our anniversary – he still doesn't know when it is. Oh, I was so mad at him. Tonight was the last night of Kapers. We’re so glad it’s over – and so tired. Daniel was with me quite a bit, but we really didn't accomplish much. We also rode around after school, but I couldn't help being kinda snotty then, and we didn't accomplish anything either. There was a dance tonight – and I went with the girls, as usual. That’s fun, though. Daniel danced with a few girls at first, but then he was with me the rest of the night. We had a lot of fun dancing – but it was kind of impersonal. Later, he started warming up a little, and he kissed me once very lightly when we were dancing, but I really had to throw myself at him. I don’t like to do that, but I know it’s the only way to get him back now. And I think I want him back – I guess I do love him pretty much.

Watertown: January 21, 1959

Oh, I’m so mad, I could just spit! Today was Daniel’s and my second anniversary, and he didn't even remember or say anything about it. And I’ll be darned if I’ll bring it up again like I did the last time. If he doesn't care even that much about it, I’m not going to keep reminding him. He didn't pay hardly any attention to me tonight, either. We had the first night of Kapers tonight and we were together quite a bit, considering. But he had the car and didn't even ask if I wanted a ride or how I was going home. So I went home with my folks. Disgusting. At first when I got home I cried a little because he didn't even remember, but now I can’t think of anything to cry for. I don’t like him at all – and I’m ready to quit anytime. And I’m not even sad at all…

Watertown: January 20, 1959

I don’t know what happened, but today Daniel and I didn't pay any attention to each other at all – didn't even hardly speak. Tonight we had dress rehearsal for Kapers. For our Junior Class act, we had a nightclub scene and we all had to dance. Daniel and I danced then, but that’s about all I saw him all night. Then at the end, we snuck out of the finale and over into Junior High. It was all dark over there and we stood and kissed about four times, but didn't really say anything. He didn't have the car, so he told me just to go home with the girls – so I did. I don’t know what’s happening. We act like we don’t even know each other any more. And the funny part is I don’t feel one way or the other about it. But I don’t think I want to break up.