January 8, 1959

Oh Lord, what a day! (I skipped yesterday, since I was sick and nothing happened – except Daniel came and saw me in my shortie pajamas and all the fellas heard about it – Embarrassing? Man!)

Well, tonight Daniel came up to get me and wanted to go to the show, but I was supposed to go to choir so I wouldn't. But anyway, we went out in the country and stopped a little. It was so nice, ‘til all of a sudden his hands got where they shouldn't be, and I told him to quit it. He got real mad (I never will let him do anything) and said he was getting sick of this. He took me to choir without another word.

But he picked me up after choir and we parked on the side of our house. We didn't say hardly a word for about a half hour. Then finally he said, “Do you just want to call the whole thing off?” I thought about it a little, although I knew darn well what I would answer. I said, “No – do you?” He didn't answer for a long time, and then finally said, “Yes.” I nearly fainted, really. The funniest feeling ran through me and I started sweating all over. Oh, it was terrible. I just sat there stunned for a little while and then gave him his ring back and started getting out. Then he sort of bent over me and said, “You’re not mad?” I can’t remember anything I said after that, except I kept asking him why he wanted to break up, and he wouldn't give me a reason. We talked about it quite a bit more, and I was nearly crying all the time. And, oh, I never wanted to touch him or kiss him so bad in my life. Then finally he put the ring back on my finger and kissed me. Oh, I was so happy! We sat there kissing for a while, and then we started back on the old subject with his question, “Why won’t you give in?” So we sat and discussed that the rest of the night. And he told me of all the kids he knew of that had done stuff. But the most shocking thing of all was that he told me all about him and Barbara. I had honestly believed they hadn't done anything. And he said that all the time he hated her. Oh, sometimes boys are so fickle. But, I will admit that I learned a lot tonight. And I almost can’t help thinking that it might be better someday if we had broken up. I just pray that it won’t be.